CHAPTER ONE

  Zander looked down at the computer pad, skim reading the notes he had taken for the challenging test in history next month.  Beside him sat Karin, his assigned study partner, and secret crush.  His palms were sweaty, and his knees weak; which he tried to hide to the best of his ability. For four hours they had gone over all their notes on the Carillean wars and after affects of them. For four hours Zander had tried to keep his attention on his studying instead of the blond haired, hazel-eyed beauty that he had been admiring since the beginning of seventh grade. Two years of fanaticizing, and now when she was close he was too nervous to say a thing.

  "Zander?" she asked worriedly, "are you ok? You went a little blank."

  With that comment he snapped back from his thoughts, "Yes, I'm all right, just got lost in thoughts. Um, do you want to go over the notes for the last war?"

  "Again? Zander, I think we've covered everything.  In fact I think we were done an hour ago at least."

"Right, well it never hurts to go over it some more?"

"Zander, are you just trying to get me to stay here with you?"

He looked at her blankly, "Well..." he began.

  Karin shook her head, arms folded. She couldn?t help but grin at his shy state, he seemed like an innocent, lovable animal, not at all like what people said he was. It was cute the way he was acting, bashful and sweet.

  She gazed at him for a short while, then with a smile, leaned towards him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.  Zander's eyes were wide with surprise as she got up from his bed and strode to the window. She climbed through, then down a ladder from the lower roof, waving goodbye with an enchanting smile.

  His heart was pounding, and he felt as though it would soon beat out of his chest. With a light sigh, he laid down on his bed.  "She kissed me," he whispered to himself barely believing what had happened.  "I'm never washing my lips again."

"Am I disturbing something?" a deep voice asked in amusement.

He sat up with a jerk, then quickly relaxed, "Hi, Dad."

  Jaden smiled, almost slyly as he walked towards the window.  "Quite a girl," he remarked.

"Yeah," Zander responded with a dream-like tone in his voice.

  Jaden's smile widened, the dream-like voice, the look in his eyes, the light sigh he heard escape him: he was in love.  It was now time to tell him.

"Zander, I think it's time that we have a discussion, father to son."

Zander raised an eyebrow at him. What was he trying to tell him?

  Jaden motioned for Zander to come with him.  Curiously, Zander followed his father into the large forest-like garden that lay only a few meters beyond their house.  The leaves crunched silently beneath their feet, the air crisp and cool against their bodies.

  They sat down on rocks beside the trees.  Zander looked on his father curiously, waiting for him to begin.  Jaden saw clearly his son's apprehension, and decided to quickly move on.  "Son, when two people love each other unconditionally, they begin to show their affections more physically?"

  "Whoa, wait a minute. You?re not giving me the old ?birds and bees? talk are you?" Zander interrupted.  Jaden?s eyes widened.  "Yes Dad, I all ready know.  Most of the teens around me at school are perverted and horny, what do you think they talk about?"

  Jaden frowned at the last remark.  "Sorry Dad, but my innocence has long since left me, and  it's not coming back."

  Jaden rose an eyebrow at his statement, "I believe you?re mixing up the word innocence with ignorance."

  Zander could barely keep himself from laughing, "Dad, the word innocence is used to define ignorance!"

  "There is a difference when you use them the way you did," Jaden said quietly.  He would have explained further, but a game interrupted the discussion.

  A fruit sailed through the air, smashing right above his head.  Jaden moved to a different tree stump and shook his head as he saw his daughter come through the brush looking for it.  She flushed as she realized that she had almost hit her father, "Sorry," she said, picking another lemon from a nearby tree.

  With that she walked back to her friends to resume the game.  Zander smirked mischievously, and picked another lemon.  He turned, still hidden in the brush, and began to wait for the perfect moment to hit his sister with the lemon firmly clutched in his hand.

"Zander," Jaden said, looking at him sternly.

"Oh, come on, let me have a little fun!" He replied, pleadingly.

  He began to turn back toward the game, but was prevented to do anything by a furious parent...

Zander jumped as he heard his mother yell his name angrily:

"Zander Riley Skywalker!!!!!!"

His eyes widened, "What'd I do?" he asked in a frightened tone.

  Jaden said nothing, but his displeased expression told Zander enough.  He started walking toward his raging mother with his father walking behind him.  What could possibly get her so worked up?  Did someone catch him alone in the city again or perhaps at the hovercraft-advanced racetrack?

  He stood before her flabbergasted. Zander's brown eyes probed hers with curiosity. There was a deep silence; everyone's eyes seemed to be stabbing into his flesh. Finally the silence was broken with a simple question:  "What?" Zander asked uncomfortably.

  "Your school informs me that you've shot someone," she replied with an icy tone.

?Just after school, with a laser gun.  He?s now in the hospital.?

  Zander went pale. Not this!  It couldn?t be! How could they have found out, there was no one around!

  "Oh, I knew this would come back to bite me in the ass," he mumbled despairingly to himself.

  Jaden turned towards his son with shock. Quickly Jaden's faith and pride in Zander came tumbling to the ground.  He began to wonder where he had gone wrong, what had he not taught him about anger management? "You shot someone, Zander?"

  Zander felt himself shrink under his parents' glares.  There was no way he could tell him the whole truth.  He was in deep this time. He could feel his life plummet to the ground with quickening speed.  He had to tell them something?

"Zander! Pay attention to your father when he is talking to you!"

He sighed heavily, "Yes, I shot someone, but it was in self-defense."

"Self-defense?" His mother asked skeptically.

"He was coming after me with a gun, what was I supposed to do? Let him shoot me?"

  The buzzer chimed loudly in the kitchen. Zander watched his mother walk quickly towards the evening meal cooking, feeling very thankful. His father was usually the passive person. He surely wouldn't be too hard on him.

 "What did you do to provoke this person?"

"Dad!"

"What did you do, Zander?" He asked again, slightly irritated.

"I didn't do anything," he answered softly.

  Jaden shook his head in dismay, he could sense that he was lying. He was trying to hide something from him.

"You decide to cause trouble, then lie to me?"

Zander held his face in his palms as he felt his stress begin to rise.

"What are you hiding Zander?" he asked sternly.

  There was no use pretending any more, it would be futile to try to convince a Jedi that what he said was true.  Jaden could sense everything. "I can not trick him, but I can not tell him either." Zander thought.

He inched away from his father slowly, "I...I can't tell you. I'm sorry."

  He walked briskly towards the wood, but soon felt himself going backwards. "Sometimes having a Jedi for a parent gives you a big disadvantage," he thought dismally, "You can't hide a thing, and you can?t walk away without them harnessing you back."

  He groaned as Jaden put him on the ground next to him and turned him around. Jaden stared Zander down hard with his ice-blue eyes. "Tell me what you did, Zander."

  For a while he couldn't bring himself to speak, he'd never seen his father so angry.

He flinched as Jaden?s grip on him increased. Zander wrenched away quickly, "I told you, I shot a guy in self-defense and that's as much as I can tell you. So, if you don't mind, I'll save both you and mom the trouble, and ground myself."

  As quickly as he could, he made his way through the door and across the kitchen to the shoot leading to his bedroom door.
 

  "Where do you think you're going," his mother called after him, "We're not done talking to you.  You've still got explaining to do!"

The door swooped up in a brisk, fluid motion, letting the unhappy teenager through.

  He walked a few feet then collapsed on the bed, "Somebody shoot me," he said, burying his face in his pillow.

"Like you did to that unarmed boy?" a voice asked.

Zander looked up in dismay to find his sister, Zeana standing in the corner of the room.

"You really did it this time, Zan. Even Dad is miffed!"

"I had my reasons. Now get lost twip."

................................................

  Jaden made his way up the shoot and to the door where he found both his children arguing.  He crossed his arms, staying in the shadows to listen.

.............................

   "I don't think so," she said making her way towards him.  "You know what I think? I think you like this trouble making cycle of yours.  You disobey, get in trouble, and blame all of your frustrations on everyone else. You really love your life on planet screw-up don't you?"

  Zander's brown eyes flashed with anger, "I would rather live on planet screw-up, than your little princess world!  Pretending to be perfect in every way; it makes me want to vomit! Your lips must really be chapped from kissing everyone's asses!" He pointed at her, full of rage. "You are nothing but a spoiled, selfish, brat!"

Zeana's jaw dropped, her blue eyes filling with ferocious anger.

"Enough!" Jaden said sternly, as he stepped into the light.

Jaden stared at his son coolly, and motioned for his daughter to leave them alone.

Zander avoided his father's gaze, though he still could feel the icy stare penetrating him.

"I've already told you all I can," he said softly, keeping his eyes on the floor beneath him.

"And what's keeping you from telling me the truth?"

  Zander clenched his fists tightly, feeling stress and anger come over him. "Great," he said clenching his teeth, "now you're the prosecutor. You promised this would stop and it starts all over again!"

"If it has started over again, it is caused by your reckless actions." Jaden answered.

  Anger flashed like fire in his eyes, and only his father's hard stare kept him demonstrating it.

"Yes, I shot him," he answered curtly, "but he gave me no choice!"

  "No choice?  There is always a choice. You could have gotten help from someone else, you could have tricked him to get away, and if it had gotten as bad as you seem to think it was you could've pushed him away. There was no reason to use a weapon, he was unarmed!"

"He was bigger than me, and stronger than me, and... I panicked all right?!"

Jaden felt the ever-rising anger within his son, and grew more stern,

"Calm down," he ordered, ?Now!"

  Zander breathed heavily with emotion, his torso shaking. Slowly, heartache and tears replaced his anger.

  Jaden felt sympathetic, but stayed firm. "I want you to look at me, and tell me the truth," he said, walking forward to sit beside him.

  Hesitatingly, Zander looked up, "All right," he said softly.  "I shot him to protect someone who was being ... assaulted."

Jaden nodded slowly, sensing that he was telling the truth, "Who was being assaulted?"

"I can't tell you,"

"Zander..." Jaden said coolly.

"I was sworn to secrecy ok! It?s embarrassing for this person!"

They sat in an uncomfortable silence; Jaden starting at his son, his son staring at the wall.

  Finally, Jaden spoke. "You're not helping this person by keeping it a secret," he said sternly.

Zander shrugged, "It was their decision to make."

  Jaden eyed his son for a while, pondering over his questions.  He let a breath of air out, and looked into his son's eyes. "Where did you get the gun from?" he asked.

  Zander turned slightly, avoiding his father's gaze.  "The attacker," he said, "I managed to grab it before he shot anyone."

  "He didn't pose a threat after you took it from him, correct?" Jaden asked with one eyebrow raised.

"The guy was still coming after us," he answered, growing irritated.

A look from his father shot away the anger that was beginning to rise.

  Zander sighed, "I didn't know what else to do, Dad.  What do you want me to say; I'm sorry I tried to defend myself?"

  Jaden closed his eyes, and breathed in and out slowly, attempting to calm the stresses of the conversation.  "There were other things you could've done, people you could have called for help.  He didn't have to get hurt."

"When you're sent on missions, the enemies get hurt don't they?"

  Jaden sighed, "Son, the enemies that do get hurt threaten and kill large amounts of people. And it is a last resort to hurt them."

  "This guy, Parthes, has threatened people, and who's to say that he wouldn?t have killed me.  He was a threat, and it was my last resort to shoot him.  Do you think I wanted this? Do you think that I'm perfectly happy to send someone to a hospital?  I only shot him in the leg, Dad, it?s not like I tried to kill him."

"No, you tried to injure him."

  "I couldn't think of any other option. It was either be killed, or injure him. Which would you have chosen?"

"Neither," Jaden replied coldly, "Where is the gun now?"

  Zander sat up more, and froze, taking a moment to remember.  Finally he stood, and walked to the closet.  He punched in a code, and watched the door slide to the right. With that he thrust his hand into the pocket of his jacket and withdrew a small laser gun, which he handed to his father.

Jaden stared at him gravely, still not wanting to believe that it had happened.

  Zander clenched his fists tightly; he had grown very tired of this treatment. "Ugh! I can't take this any more!  What do you want from me?! Would it make you feel any better if I kicked my own ass?"

Jaden grabbed his arm as Zander tried to make it past him, and stared down at him.

Zander sighed. "All right, all, right, I'm sorry," he said, his eyes becoming teary.

  Jaden shook his head. "I'm very disappointed in you, Zander," he said as he walked towards the door.

  "Well, so much for him not being too hard," he said clenching his teeth and wiping unwanted tears from his eyes. He hated crying; it made him feel weak and vulnerable.

  He sat down on his bed, cradling his face in his hands. He hated himself for being so weak, for making others so angry, for being so easy to break. Feelings of depression and anger mixed within him as he felt his world shatter.

"Zan?" a voice called from the closet.

  Zander turned, his forehead creased with confusion. He got to his feet slowly and opened the door looking down in astonishment, "Kerina? How long have you been in there? Why are you here?"

  She lifted herself up slowly, "I heard everything, Zan. I went in here to talk to you, but decided to hide when I heard Zeana coming up.  By the way, what you said to her was really mean."
 
  Zander groaned, and rolled his eyes. "After all you heard, that?s all you are going to say to me?" he asked.

  Kerina sighed, getting a better understanding for his feelings.  "I'm sorry you got in trouble for this. I was surprised that he was so angry even after you told him that you were trying to protect me."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I didn't tell him that it was you," Zander said defensively, ?And I?m not going to."

"Thanks Zan, I owe you one," she said, walking towards the window.

"A very big one," Zander added, crossing his arms.

  She gave him a small half smile as she climbed onto the ladder. "Hang in there Zan, it'll blow over."

  Zander watched her go down the ladder, then directed his attention towards the scenery. "Sure it will blow over," he said facetiously, "After a couple of years in Tartorous I'm sure all will be forgiven."  He closed the window, and walked towards the bed. Falling on it lifelessly, he began to drown in self-pity.